Are you using ALL your senses?

I remember a passage in Elizabeth Lyon's Manuscript Makeover which said that writers often only focus on the sense of sight in their first drafts, and that all the other senses have to be worked into subsequent drafts. Isn't that odd? I mean, that sure describes the first draft of my novel. Only now am I thinking about how a place smells and sounds. Why is that? And why is it that the problem is so common that Ms. Lyon could make such a generalized statement with confidence?

I don't have the answers to these questions, but I find it comforting to know that I'm not alone in my sensory short-sightedness. So now I'd like to do a little exercise with you - one that you can do at home, or wherever you might be spending the holidays. At the moment, I happen to be in a fantastic place for sensory overload - Australia. I've never been to a subtropical continent before, so this is all very new to me. We touched down in Sydney yesterday morning (which is technically tomorrow for all of you in the States ... I think ... ? :-]-). I took a long walk through the area where we're staying (Bronte) and here was my sensory response (an abridged version, that is, because I could go on and on ...)

SIGHT - I was thrilled by the sight of rainbow-colored "lorrikeets" flying out of stubby, waxy-leaved trees so they could perch on low, red-tiled rooftops.

SOUND - I found myself startled every time I heard what sounded like a toddler babbling, followed by a monkey shrieking, only to realize I was listening to bird calls.

SMELL - I couldn't get away from the fragrant odor of eucalyptus oil mixed with a hint of sea brine, and I didn't want to!

TOUCH - It started to drizzle on my way home, and I felt as if I was being followed by a personal assistant continually spraying me with a fine lukewarm mist.

TASTE - When I got home, I opened a bottle of Australian Cab-Merlot and swished the fruity, woody liquid around in my mouth before swallowing.

I'm going to try and do a new five senses exercise every day I'm here (but I promise not to bore you with any more of them!)

FIGURING IT OUT AS I GO: Do you have trouble bringing all 5 senses to the forefront of your writing? Maybe this is because you, like me, don't always make the time to be aware of all that you're sensing in your own life. Try this little exercise wherever you are and see if it sharpens your writing ... I'd love to read YOUR sensory experiences!

Questions Answered & Characterization Exercises Explored

I'm taking a break from extolling the virtues of research to clear up a few ambiguities from my last post.  As expected, some of you were shocked by my decision to nix Cora altogether.  One of my BEs also commented that it looked as if I was attempting to rise to the challenge of rewriting Ophelia, despite my earlier inclination not to.  So I wanted to "clear the record" on both decisions ...

I decided to cut Cora Morse, my ailing co-protagonist, and her husband Arthur for one very simple reason: the feedback I've been getting has led me to the conclusion that this storyline, and the characters in it, are simply not compelling enough to sustain as much space within my novel as they currently take up.  So then I had to ask myself, how would they (and their story) work if they were relegated to the "background"?  And the answer was, "not well at all;" the Cora/Arthur/Ophelia subplot either needs to be front and center, or taken out completely.  Anything else would just become distracting noise.

Which leads me to Ophelia.  I have no intention of bringing Ophelia's life to the forefront in Draft #2 the way I did in Draft #1.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have no plans, at least not at this time, of trying to perfect my ability to tell a story through a southern African-American woman's eyes.  (The Lord knows I'm having enough trouble perfecting my storytelling through the eyes of an average white girl.)  I do still believe, however, that Ophelia is a potentially compelling character, and my goal is to give her a lesser role in this new version, but to hone and craft it in such a way as to do her justice.

On a related note, my next proactive step toward starting my 2nd draft is to complete the list of personal and emotional attributes set forth on p. 266 of Manuscript Makeover.  I plan to do this exercise for each of my 3 protagonist/viewpoint characters, as well as for their family members.  I also stumbled across an interesting blog the other day entitled 52 Weeks of Wordage where the host puts up a new writing exercise each week.  I'm definitely going to tune into her blog throughout my rewriting process, just to keep me on my toes re my characters' depth and believability.

This was a rather hodge-podgey post, so I don't have any all-encompassing words of wisdom to leave you with.  Just, "keep writing!" ;-)

Taking Characterization to the Next Level

Well, I finished Manuscript Makeover and got a lot out of the last half of the characterization section.  Here are a few highlights:

• On p. 266, Ms. Lyon offers a list of criteria against which to assess each of my characters.  I'm only going to list a smattering of the elements she mentions, but I definitely plan to work through all of them with each of my principle characters before tackling my re-write.

1. Physical Appearance:  Aside from age, weight, eye color, etc., she suggests considering such characteristics as the shape and fullness of a character's lips, his/her habitual stances and gestures, and voice quality (timber and pitch).
2. Emotional/Intellectual Disposition:  This list includes "most dominant emotion", "operating mode" (logical v. intuitive thinker), and "orientation to life" (cynical, optimistic, etc.), among other things.

• Ms. Lyon also points out that each viewpoint character's narration must have a distinctive "voice."  I have to be particularly mindful of this because I am writing in 3rd person limited, which means that I follow my characters' thoughts closely, however I am not writing as if I were them (i.e., 1st person).  Likewise, scene/character descriptions should not be generic, but rather, slanted toward the viewpoint character's personality and the thrust of the story.  What this means is, don't just start writing about trees in the forest if those background details bear absolutely no relevance to what's going on in your character's world.  [That said, Ms. Lyon does suggest the more-is-more approach to scene-setting in order to immerse the reader in the novel's universe; she says overwritten description can always be pared down in the final draft.]

• I really liked what Ms. Lyon had to say about dialogue, so here's a direct quote:  Dialogue "needs to sound like natural speech, [but it] should not replicate everyday speech ... it must meet two primary functions: (1) to characterize the speaker, and (2) to move the story forward." p. 278.  She also warned against describing dialogue (those awful adverbs!) and over-use of attributions (e.g., "he said/she asked"), especially "clever" ones (e.g., "she giggled/he extolled.").  Here's an example that incorporates both offenses:  "If that's the way it must be, so be it," Sue grumbled sulkily.  I was already well aware that if you can tell who's speaking without an attribution, don't use one.  But when I do use them, I must admit (to my great shame) that I often have my characters "harrumph" and "guffaw"ing their words.  Never again!  I'm also a lover of adverbs (I know, I know, I might as well have NOVICE WRITER stamped on my forehead).  Ms. Lyon suggests using action where the dialogue leaves doubt as to the character's emotions.  So in my example, I might try something like this:  "If that's the way it must be, so be it."  Sue slumped down in the armchair and scowled out the window. In trying this little exercise, I'm already getting a sense of how a writer can communicate much more interesting information by ditching the attributions in favor of description.

• And of course, Ms. Lyon addressed my Achilles tendon - excessive exposition.  "So often in early drafts of a novel, exposition takes the form of what editors sometimes call 'an information dump.'"  Manuscript Makeover, p. 294.  She suggests weaving between showing and telling to make the passage meaningful and to push the narrative along.  I wish Ms. Lyon had spent a bit more time discussing this, but I have a feeling that, with all the other tips and techniques I've gleaned from her book, my inclination to babble tangentially about a character's past will subside during this next re-write.

To round off my discussion on characterization, I'm inserting a mock back jacket "flap copy" I came up with about halfway through my first draft.  This will give you a brief overview of my six viewpoint characters as they are currently written.  I also wanted to share a terrific idea I had the other day re how to go about "storyboarding" my character arcs.  My novel is written in alternating viewpoint chapters throughout (e.g., Ch. 1 - Cora's POV; Ch. 2- Lila's POV; Ch. 3 - Rosemarie's POV, etc.)  So to be able to track any specific character's narrative, I decided the best way to re-read my book would be to compile all viewpoint chapters by character.  I've created 6 documents, one for all the sequentially-ordered Cora chapters, one for all the Lila chapters, etc.  It's going to be a whole new experience reading my novel this way, and will surely expose character weaknesses I had missed the first time around.

Vanderkill, New York is a small town about 120 miles north of Manhattan, a few miles inland from the Hudson River.  One day in late 1926, three young men move into their recently-deceased grandmother’s mansion.  From thenceforth, six lives will be permanently intertwined in a quest for truth, loyalty and, if such a thing exists, happiness.

Lila Payton, seduced by the promise of a glamorous city life, finds herself repeating the dangerous patterns of her ill-fated, wild-living parents.

Marcus Torrington has lived too long in the shadow of his flashy, debonair cousins to not be bitter.  Losing the woman he loves to one of them is almost too much to bear.

Rosemarie Dauber never thought she would have to break out of her role as the good little minister’s daughter.  But life, and love, have other plans for her.

Ophelia James believed she had left her devil behind when she escaped the Jim Crow South.  She never dreamed that he could find her up here.

Cora Morse is a prisoner of her own failing body, but like any prisoner, she has a plan for escape.  It is, however, not without casualties.

Arthur Morse does not ask a lot out of life, tacitly accepting the secrets that are kept from him.  And carefully guarding a secret of his own.

FIGURING IT OUT AS I GO:  Characters are the heart and soul of most fiction, so you cannot do enough to improve upon them in your second draft.  Again, learn your "novice writer" tendencies.  Come up with techniques to catch those tendencies as you write and re-write so that you can substitute them with better literary choices.

Here ends my overview on characterization ... now onto the research phase ...

Themes and Hooks

I really like a couple of clever techniques I read about in Manuscript Makeover the other night.  Elizabeth Lyon suggests coming up with one word to describe your novel, and then expanding this concept into a sentence that expresses some universal truth.  So here goes ...

The first word that came to my mind was "freedom."  Coming up with a sentence is harder.  I'm going to try a few on for size ... this is a free write, i.e., impromptu and unedited, so don't judge too harshly!

Freedom can be found where you're least likely to look for it or Some prisons cannot be seen by others or True freedom means embracing your past.

Hmm, I may revisit this little exercise later in my revision process. Now onto something that could directly affect the final draft (and the ultimate salability of my novel) ...

Manuscript Makeover also strongly suggests starting your book with a "hook" - that is to say, a first line that grabs the reader and pulls them into the story right away.  I have a tendency to do "soft openings," slowly ramping up to the central drama/through-line during the first chapter.  I'm starting to doubt this wisdom, especially considering that I'm an unpublished author who's going to have a lot to prove.

I find this exercise quite exciting, but I think it's something I shouldn't even consider tackling until I begin re-organizing my manuscript.  I'm considering switching the order of my first and second chapters, because my second chapter, as it currently stands, is the one that throws you into Lila's world and introduces the reader to the Whitakers.  One of my trusted Brilliant Editors said that she wanted to be emersed in this plotline much sooner.  So for now, I'm going to mentally "bookmark" this exercise, and I'll start playing around with some first-line free writes when I start actually re-writing.

FIGURING IT OUT AS I GO:  Try out various quick "free writes" - themes, mantras, first lines, whatever.  They take little time, and might tap into something you've been toying with in the back of your mind, but have yet to put into concrete terms.

Attacking Characterization Head-On!

So I'm halfway through the last main section - characterization - in Manuscript Makeover.  I skimmed much of the plot/pacing/tension chapters, not because I'm so cocky as to think I've got those down pat, but all-in-all, I seem to have pretty good instincts re those elements; using the feedback I've gotten from the 5BE, I can somewhat easily reform the parts that might seem sluggish or inconsequential.

Characters, however, are a whole other ballgame, and apparently I'm not alone in feeling this way.  The book mentioned that many published authors go back and refine character in their later draft(s), so it's good to know that I'm not way off the mark in sensing that I need more work in this area.  I will discuss the specific hurdles and questions that are creeping into my head re the depth of my characters once I actually start rewriting.  For now, I just want to touch on some general points.

An earlier section of Ms. Lyon's revision book discussed the difference between viewpoint and protagonist/central plotline (i.e., you can have multiple viewpoints telling one protagonist's story, without creating protagonists out of those viewpoint narrators).  This is a key issue (potential problem) with my novel.  Currently, I would describe the structure as being parallel plotlines centered around two protagonists (whose lives cross frequently, but who have their own personal journeys, arcs, etc.)  The story is told from 6 viewpoints, 3 per storyline.  All of the viewpoint characters have their own subplots, but these, in my mind at least, advance the two main storylines in some way.

If you're thinking, "Wow that sounds convoluted!" you may well be right.  I believe that I have created a well-paced, compelling work, however, as Manuscript Makeover points out, too many subplots and weighty side characters can diminish the depth and impact of the protagonist and her storyline.  A little voice somewhere inside me is whispering that this is likely the case with my novel!  Now the question is, what to do about it ...

Ms. Lyon suggests that, where you have two protagonists, you treat one of them as the "main one," giving her 3/4ths of the book.  This is a very interesting thought - at this point, I basically give both protagonists equal page time, and then of course, I have all those side character stories ... I have to seriously revisit the structure of my book, not so much for it's ability to tell a compelling tale, but for its merits in regard to presenting rich, 3-dimensional characters.

There is obviously a lot more I can say about all this, but again, I think I will hold off on giving specifics until I am actually in the throws of re-writing.  My goal is to finish the how-to book this week, and hopefully begin my phase 2 research next week (looking over old magazines and visiting the local historical society to get a better feel for life around here in the 1920s).  I sent out an initial questionnaire to the 5BE re some of the points I mentioned in this post, and am starting to get responses, which I will incorporate into my Master Feedback List.  Then comes synthesizing the whole list into an action plan ... argh ... this is starting to sound like work! ;-)

(I'm changing the name of my "Potential Novice Writer Sin" section to something a little less draconian-sounding ...)

FIGURING IT OUT AS I GO:  Know your book and its potential weaknesses!  I think this is the absolute first step in one's revision process.  Know what you have on your hands (and this means learning the basic conventions of novel writing.)  Only then can you decide whether you want to try to break the "rules" or conform your book to fit within them.  I still don't have all the answers in that department, but I feel a bit more confident now that I understand the "risks" I might be taking with some of my choices.

Backstory and Full Speed Ahead ...

I know I said I wouldn't be doing this everyday, and ultimately, I won't be.  But I'm finding this whole blogging process incredibly relaxing, as well as clarifying and motivating in regard to the task at hand.  My husband asked, "Shouldn't you just use the time it takes to write your blog to actually revise your book?"  I, of course, ignored the question.  ;-)  I really do believe this serves a valid purpose, because it's enabling me to put my revision goals into concrete terms.

More on that in a minute ...  But first, in case this blog ever gets any readers, I feel I owe those readers a bit of backstory on the novel itself, so that I can speak in short hand in the future about the changes I intend to make.  So here goes a brief, rough pitch:

"The Whitaker Boys" is a period novel set in upstate New York and Manhattan in the late 1920s.  The book is told in 3rd person limited through the eyes of 6 characters whose lives are all somehow intertwined.  ...

So you're probably thinking, "Well that pitch sure could not have been more vague," and you're right.  I'm not intentionally trying to hide anything, but the truth is, I'm not exactly sure how to describe the plot.  Seeing as this is not a "Pitching to an Agent" blog, I won't pursue this discussion at the moment.  However it does segue nicely into one of the first points I have taken away from what I've read so far in Manuscript Makeover by Elizabeth Lyon.  The reason I can't easily launch into a plot summary is because I have two distinct plot lines which, though interconnected by familial relationships, each has their own climax and resolution.  Let me try to summarize both and see if I have any luck ...

The novel follows headstrong Lila Payton on her quest for freedom, stardom and, more elusively, fulfillment. Meanwhile, Lila's reclusive aunt Cora struggles to maintain secrets which have given her tortured life some appearance of normalcy.

Ok, not only is that lousy writing, but it still sounds so horribly generic and uninviting.  I'm not going to beat up on myself for failing to master the perfect pitch (there will be plenty of time for working on that later).  But what my stumbling and hesitation tells me is that I may indeed have committed a POTENTIAL NOVICE WRITER SIN which the revision book addresses.  It says to have no more than than 3 developed characters telling your story.  As painful a pill as this is for me to swallow, I think it is a very valid point.  The real question now (and which I will have to present to the 5BE) is "Is my use of 6 vantage points daring and innovative or a glaring beginners' mistake?"  TBD ... !

(Ok, here's a new feature I'm going to add to the blog - a "practice tip" series, if you will ...)

POTENTIAL NOVICE WRITER SIN:  "Too many viewpoint characters, which for many novices is more than three, can mean that story lines cut one another off. ... Use as few characters as will accomplish the needs of your story and genre, and increase their relatedness. ... Employ as few developed viewpoint characters as possible."  Elizabeth Lyon, Manuscript Makeover, p. 77.