Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Roller Coaster Ride of Writing, or "The Post I'll Regret Having Written"

This blog post can be likened unto those emails (letters pre-1990-something) that you sent in the heat of the moment and then regretted the minute they were out of your hand.  I say that because I shouldn't even be writing this post - I should be implementing the handwritten changes I made to the first 5 chapters of my novel rewrite.  But I don't feel like doing that.  I feel totally uninspired.  I look at my red scribbles and think, is this what I have to look forward to for the next 6-9 months?

If I'm sounding generally whiny and non-sensical to you, you're probably not the only one with that impression.  See why I shouldn't even be writing this?  Here's what I think is happening:  I'm doing what I did the last 2 times I wrote a long-form piece (and which generally works for me) ... I write for a week or 2, and then I start to edit.  It's not my definitive edit, just a first pass in order to clean up syntax errors, and add exposition and dialogue that come to me after I've finished the chapters.  It's an amazingly time-consuming task, and very uncreative-feeling.  Plus, when I start marking my work up, I see just how flawed what I had initially felt was fantastic during the writing process really is.

Like I said, I've been through this before, so why is it suddenly draining me?  Who knows - gloomy weather, hormones, it could be attributed to anything.  And yes, it will pass, I know that.  That's kind of why I hesitated to post this ... best to keep a stiff upper lip when writing, and not mope and moan at every turn, right?  Well, this blog was created to reveal the good, bad, and ugly sides of writing, so I suppose nothing is off-limits.

FIGURING IT OUT AS I GO:  Feeling fussy.  Going to go clean my messy kitchen instead of typing up my edits.  No words of wisdom to share at the moment. 

9 comments:

  1. Sometimes a bit of procrastination is just what you need. Perhaps there's something your subconscious knows you haven't fully figured out, or there's a better way to tackle a scene correction. I can't count the times my feet have taken me away from my keyboard to go and do something less writerly, but then I find I come back with new clarity. Often, then, corrections feel constructive rather than dispiriting!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What an uplifting and positive spin on my predicament! Thank you so much for sharing - I'll keep this in mind. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just take a break and come back to it when you feel like it. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You'll get to it when you're ready. Enjoy the break. You'll come back with fresh eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I procrastinate everything and it all gets done eventually anyway. Don't feel too bad :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks, all! I may indeed give myself a little break ... I promise the next blog post will be full of positivity (at least, that's the goal!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The good news is your messy kitchen is clean. Yes, I find that when I am procrastinating writing other things get done. Lovely. And I look down that dark, writing hole void of any hope and light as well sometimes, when your manuscript is just a manuscript that you are tired of and losing faith in. It will come back.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think every writer goes through this. I often feel like a dark raincloud hangs over my head in a decidedly Winnie-the-Pooh fashion when writing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Editing is definitely the worst part of writing for me. I encourage you not to go back and edit. Just keep writng.

    ReplyDelete